


It's not so bad.

by land_of_hills_and_ladybugs



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Humanstuck, M/M, Mpreg, Trans Character, Trans Dave Strider, Transphobia, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9909998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/land_of_hills_and_ladybugs/pseuds/land_of_hills_and_ladybugs
Summary: A simple 'good morning' can turn into 'we'll get through this together'.





	

You wake up in his bed yet again. You’d been staying here with Dave the past few days as his Bro had been away on a business trip. It was mostly for his Smuppet business, but Dirk, Dave’s cousin insisted on coming with. Dave’s guardian wasn’t a really bad guy, never had he been too bad, in fact, he was actually surprisingly nice sometimes. The reason that it was surprising was on account of Dave, though. He’d always seem sarcastic yet caring, not to mention ‘irony’ to him as well. 

You rolled this over in your head as you woke yourself up. You scoot over in bed, reaching an arm over expecting to have it wrapped around the person you fell asleep next to. Once you were met with just his pillow and blankets rolled over, nothing about the situation was new. When you and your boyfriend slept together, he’d never be there when you wake up. When you would wake up in the middle of the night, you were never in the same position with him as you fell asleep in. Dave would always be on the other side of the bed, laying down on his chest faced in the opposite direction of you. 

The reason that this happened was never a topic that you brought up with him. Maybe it was a personal reason that Dave seemed to always be kept to himself, but why? Was it a matter of difficulty with affection? Who knew. He always seemed to be close with Rose, the two always hugged, you’d even seen the two with their heads in each other’s laps at different times. But with you? That never occurred between you and Dave. What, did he not trust you? The two of you were in a relationship at that, it seemed a little harsh that you two would never actually snuggle together. Not to mention your sex ordeal with him. The amount of times you’d attempted the circumstance with him and he’d always push you away or turn you down on it. Were you doing something wrong? 

You vaguely remember one time when the two of you got heated. But that was after a party a few months ago that Roxy had thrown, and of course Gamzee brought liquor to spice up the punch for everyone. “To really get the party motherfuckin' started,” he’d said. The small parts you remember as you had been both drunk out of your minds that night was Dave taking his pants off, you shirtless but not remembering how, and pinning him down on the bed. You don’t remember seeing his full body or the actual sex part, but you know that it probably didn’t happen. It couldn’t have, right? 

You sit up in bed, running a hand through your messy, copper colored hair. It stuck up in almost every place it could with the way your hair was styled, it sucked. You felt like Gamzee when this happened. How the guy managed to keep his hair as it is remained a mystery. Was it a trait to his father? The two of them looked a little too similar when it came to that. Caught in the moment yet again, you almost, almost jump at hearing the bedroom door open revealing your boyfriend. What an abrupt way of entering. You nod up at him as he walks over to your, more or less his, bed. “Mattina David,” you mumble to him. It was obvious that you were still groggy and trying to wake up. Dave pecks your forehead then looks you in the eyes. Or at least you think he’s looking at you in the eyes, you can never exactly tell with his shades. “’Dave’ is not an abbreviation of ‘David’. Also English please Leonardo da Vinci,” he speaks. 

Fuck, you had such a bad habit of that. You swore, if someone were to wake you up and you were still at least ninety-nine percent asleep, you’d speak every word in your full native accent. “Mm.. Morning Dave,” you try again. “Better,” he replies. 

You kiss him on the lips, sitting up more now. Dave sits at the end of his old bed with you as you were sitting up, stretching while doing so. You notice the fact that he’s watching you and you give a smile at him. “Did you sleep any good?” you question. Dave leans back on his palms, relaxing. “Yeah, I kept having to wake up, though. Great time,” he spoke the last part with a sarcastic manner to his voice. You raise an eyebrow as a way of asking him why. He shakes his head and reaches up, raising his shades slightly to rub at one of his eyes. “Don’t worry about it.” 

There it was. He was being kept to himself again over something that probably didn’t matter much, but you wouldn’t let such a simple thing as that get to you. Not to brag, but you tend to be a stiff person. Though you’d also turn caustic no sweat. Now that was something not new with you. Just don’t mention it, you thought. You nod back at him before laying back down. 

He’s quiet this morning, you notice. Eh, in all likelihood, it could just be that it’s too early in the morning for you two. “I think I found some bacon in the fridge last night, you want any?” Dave asks. Or not. You quickly go to sit up, saying, “What are you, dumb? Yes I want some.” You didn’t fully intend to be so rude, yet you were unable to help that. It was just your personality, and Dave had known by now not to take the things you say personally. Hopefully. You loved that red eyed, apple juice loving dickhead, you really did. 

Dave stands up and you follow after him, the both of you making your way into the kitchen. Dave’s house was similar to the one you shared with Gamzee and Sollux, but there were turns and rooms that you still had no idea where were located. He’s wearing sweatpants with what is quite possibly your t-shirt, which is surprisingly not as loose fitting on him as they used to be. What, is he working out? You catch up to the other male, reaching over and grabbing onto his hand. He holds onto it, giving it a gentle squeeze even. You make your way into the kitchen with him, to which he stops abruptly before going into the room. You can hear him curse under his breath and you yank on his hand a bit, making him look at you. “What?” you ask him. He looks nervous, annoyed may be the better word for it now. “They’re here,” he says. Who aliens? The apocalypse? An angry mob of people? Jeez, what a way of being specific. And then it clicks, you don’t even need to ask who. It was obvious to you now. 

Dave’s Bro. 

Dave seemed okay with him, or at least you thought. However, you’d talked to him only a few times before. “He wasn’t supposed to come back until tomorrow!” he mutters ever so quietly. You didn’t quite understand why he was so scared about this. It didn’t exactly seem like something he would do. “You’ll be fine,” you reassure him, unsure why you were doing so. Might as well try to help his mood though, right? You can hear him in the kitchen putting things down and such. You lead Dave into the kitchen, although he urged your hand back from going into the kitchen. To Dave’s dismay, Bro looks up at you both. He nods at Dave, and then you. 

“Mornin’.” He mutters. You respond with a polite ‘good morning’, and Dave replies with a simple ‘morning’. Bro turns to Dirk who was sitting at the table with a book on welding “See? I told you he came,” A part of you is offended by that. Come on now, you weren’t that bad of a probable son-in-law. “Is that a problem?” Dave comments, walking over to table with you to sit down. “Nah. We saw his car out front and we weren’t sure if you drove or not, being you don’t have a car, we didn’t know if he drove you or not.” 

Alright, you’re fine now. No need to jump to conclusions and be offended now. You start, “Am I being a bur-” “No way man you’re cool.” Wow. where the hell did Dave get his attitude from? Don’t worry Karkat, no need to finish a sentence, your boyfriend’s somewhat nice brother has it covered. You both sit down at the table, and his Bro is already setting down plates with McDonald’s on it. You both thank him and he throws a brief smile. You both start eating as he starts pouring Fanta in some cups for all of you. 

“So what did you do all day, Dianna?” his cousin questions. Dianna? What was that supposed to be, a pet name? You look over at Dave and see that he’s ghastly pale. What was the matter with him today? He goes quiet and his Bro looks at him; Dirk does too. “Dia-” “Nothing! I didn’t do much,” he says, interrupting him. “Dianna, are you okay?” Again with that name, it confuses you. You’d never heard that name before in your life, plus, you’d never seen it written anywhere either. “I’m alright.,” he says, getting up from the table. His Bro sets down the cups of Fanta and you thank him again.

Dave goes over to the fridge, reaching in. looks to you as though he’d rather not drink Fanta. You’d never actually seen him drink more than Coke, Smirnoff and apple juice. This early for him to be drinking stuff like that? To your astonishment, you’re sure you’ve never seen him drink them so early in the morning. You can see at least three full bottles of his precious drinks in the fridge, so your theory was proven. It must lead his nervous state to one of nirvana. Dave closes the fridge and peers to his brother, mumbling lowly. “It’s Dave, Bro.” 

You can hear him groan and he nudges his cup towards him. “Dude, you need to stop with that. Your boyfriend’s here, I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear that crap.” What the hell is going on? Dave sighs and comes to sit next to you again at the table, setting his drink down. It’s water. Scratch that, your theory was proven negative. Despite that as you think of it now, when was the last time you saw him drink anything unhealthy as a matter of fact? He’d been drinking water and tea more lately, you notice. 

You always observe the small details of anyone. It was a habit of yours, a bad one you might add on to the say. 

Nevertheless, it’s still getting to you. Why were they calling Dave Dianna, and why did he have such a problem with it? It could just be a nickname he hated, right? Dave’s brother looks at you, shaking his head. His family’s eyes confused you as you watched him. His brother had a pair of kamina shades covering his vibrant orange eyes, the same with Dirk. Now, you haven’t met the rest of their family but how the hell did Dave get red eyes? “Man I’m sorry, she doesn’t seem to be in her best of moods lately,” He mutters, his eyes going to observe Dave quickly. 

She? His brother is calling Dave a SHE now? You look at him, an obviously confused manner to your face, and then you turn your gaze to his Bro. “I’m sorry, what do you mean by ‘she’?” you ask him. Dave curses under his breath, then out of the corner of your eye you can see him sigh once more and run his hand through his hair. You were just asking him a question about his own brother. “Karkat, stop,” he whispers. Bro looks at you as if he’s offended, but that couldn’t be it. He raises an eyebrow “She, as in my sister. Don’t tell me she’s gotten you into giving you that wrong pronouns bullshit she does.” Sister? 

And then it clicks. 

It clicks in your head what the name “Dianna” was. The meaning of why Dave’s brother was calling him by “she,” and saying that he was “his sister.” Dave wasn’t born a man. This was why he was so kept to himself! This was why he didn’t want to ever stay huddled up with you, sleep in your arms, nothing. He’d never take off his shirt or pants around you either. This was why you two never had sex together! He wasn’t comfortable with telling you. Here he was now, forced to admit the truth. He wasn’t born male.

You think that you can feel the colour drain from your face, and Dave doesn’t say a word. He sits in his seat frozen, his brother and cousin staring at you. You could sit there and agree with them, betray your own boyfriend. On the other hand, you could stay loyal to Dave, you could keep him safe, help to make him feel supported. Which was exactly what you were going to do immediately.  
You let out a chuckle and feel yourself smirk. Don’t be rude, you tell yourself. Be the biggest asshole you can be to make your boyfriend feel welcome in some case. “Sister? Sir, I don’t see any women in this room. I think you’re mistaking your brother for a girl.” His bro sets his cup down, snarking back at you, “She’s not a man, and Dianna needs to get that through her head. Her name isn’t Dave, Dianna is the name I’ve given her.” You sit up more comfortably in your chair, reaching over to grab ahold of your own cup. You take a few quick sips of it, and then set it back down. “You’re the one with the wrong idea. Does Dave here sound like a girl? Look like a woman? Act like a woman for god’s sake?” you tell him. 

Dirk steps in now, his voice deeper than you remember. “Uh, Bro... maybe we should just-” “Can it! You listen here, is that anyway to treat your gf’s family?” Bro cuts him off. “And you’re supposed to treat your brother like that?!” you snap back. Jeez, you feel like you’re talking to Kankri. The two of you continue to argue, Dirk having set down his book and, still not saying much, trying to make an effort at ending the conflict. His brother and you continue your quarrel, his argument seeming futile to you. It would seem just as futile to you as it would to Rose, John, quite possibly even Jade. The litany of arguing carries on for what seems to be forever, though it was probably only four or five minutes. 

Dave in the meantime is staring at you looking terrified, that you’re sticking up for him in the worst time possible. He looks heart broken, and you can’t entirely tell why. Come on, you can’t be acting like you’re that terrible of a person for doing this for your boyfriend. Everything would be just fine, and you needed to reassure Dave of that as soon as you could. You didn’t look at him the entire time you argued with his family. A part of you knew that there was no way in hell you would be allowed in their household ever again, well at least not when his bro is there. 

Then, out of the blue, Dave stands up at the table and leads the argument to a halt. He slams his hands down on the table as he did so. Everyone stops and looks over at him, surprised by his action. The three of you didn’t realize how heated the argument got, how loud you were all being. Looking up at your beloved, you see that there are tears running down his face. He walks away from the table, not bothering to push his chair in, and hurries out the door, heading to the hallway of their apartment complex. “Fuck,” you say under your breath. The door slams and you’re already scrambling out of your chair in the now quiet room, trying to catch up to him. “Dave!” you call, hoping he can hear you from outside. 

Once you go outside, you see him holding onto himself in the doorway of the stairwell. He’s shaking and biting down on his bottom lip. You calm yourself down as quickly as you can, then reach over, placing your hand on Dave’s back. “Hey-” He cuts you off, something that seems to run in his family. “What the actual fuck, Karkat?!” he yells at you, his voice cracking. He jitters and shakes your hand off of his back. He doesn’t want to be touched, and you had to be content with that. Don’t force anything. As you look him over, you can see that he was attempting to type someone’s cell number into his phone. From the numbers there, or at least what you could see since he was hiding his phone and though they were out of order, it looked similar to Rose’s. No surprise there. 

You quickly look back up at his face. “Dave, I was fucking sticking up for you! They’re all assholes, you’re a man! You can be who you want,” you tell him. “Dave, Dave, Dave! That’s all I ever fucking hear from you! You might as well call me the other bull shit name, it’d be better,” he replies, putting his phone into the pocket of his pants.  
Quick, think of something quick, Karkat. You should be used to this now; handling things yourself, that is. “Hey, look at me. You’ll be fine.” He insists that it won’t be by shaking his head. Dave wasn’t always the most stoic of a person, sometimes things would easily get to him. You were surprised at how he wasn’t trying to induce getting drunk senseless at the moment. Why cut off the fancy drinks? Dave must think that this was the most quintessential purpose of explaining why he’d get himself drunk so often and so roughly. Today is just full of surprises for you, isn’t it?  
“Davey,” you start, calling him that stupid cutesy nickname. That could have two ways of affecting him: distress or comfort. “Why didn’t you tell me?” What else was Dave obfuscating? That was when Dave mentally, thoroughly, breaks. He changes his position, his shades long gone, turning his head and leaning it on your shoulder and crying into your shirt. Good thing that it was a black shirt covering you so that you wouldn’t look drenched from your boyfriend’s tears. You wrap your arms around him, holding him close, protecting him. Holding onto him was bound to help, right? It had to, Dave looked to be the kind of person always in need of affection. Even though he was always around people. 

“How was I supposed to know what you’d think?!” he has a tone of aggression and sadness. “By telling me,” you say back at him. You keep your voice low to soothe him. Dave was still Dave, and that was all that mattered to you. if he didn’t want to be a woman, didn’t want to have the name Dianna any longer, it was his choice. They were adults, free to make their own choices. And yet, his family still continued to control his gender lifestyle. You had to wonder if John and Rose knew about this. Were you the first to find out that Dave was transgender? No, no, that couldn’t be. Rose and Dave had known each other for a majority of their lives, they’d grown up together. Rose probably would’ve known, John came along not long after he’d met Rose. They knew, didn’t they? 

“..I couldn’t do it- Why did you treat them like that?” he exclaims. “I needed to! They needed to get it through their empty heads that you’re their brother,” you answer. He grips the back of your shirt when you say the word “brother.” Dave felt tenuous in your arms as he cried. He goes quiet except for the sobs escaping him after every few moments. Shushing him quietly and running your hand through his hair, he never dares letting go of you. You hated having to see your boyfriend in this condition, he must as well. With the amount of times Dave has gotten himself drunk and you’d have to take care of him as his significantly depressed side came out, you were becoming more and more adept at this. Comforting him, that is. 

It takes a while for him to calm down, you think almost ten minutes now. He’s sniffling, still holding onto you. You realize that he’s calmed down when you hear him say, “I’m not a man.” His parents were getting to him more than you thought, looking down at him in disbelief. “Don’t say that, il mio amore. If it makes you feel any better, I would’ve never thought you, well, were once a woman.” You rub his back as you talk to him and you can feel him wearing something underneath of your shirt. It must be a binder. Dave pulls out of your heartfelt hug with him and you feel as though you’ve just lost something dear to you. He wiped at his eyes with his knuckle, looking away from you momentarily. “I still have the parts.” “That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’ve done more than just succeed at passing. You’ve overcome it,” you say. Reaching over, you place your hands on his cheeks and wipe away some excess tears from his face. You can’t help but to lean forward and kiss his forehead. 

Dave looks horrible. He is the visual sight of the phrase ‘I feel like shit.’ You know that you need to cherish him, be there for him, hold him close, reassure him, take care of him too. Sometimes, you were unable to meet up to those needs when you needed to encounter your own. Your own work needed to be done with your job; you constantly had to fill in and catch up with team members about supplies, new kids, safety training. It was stressful but the most encouraging and fun thing you’ve ever made the decision to establish. Come on, a boot camp of your own? How would that not be fun? 

Dave holds onto himself once more, squeezing at his upper arm and looking away from you. You pepper kisses onto his forehead, lips and nose now. That would help on occasions with Dave, letting him know that someone was there for him. That someone cared about him, not to mention loved him dearly. You continued to do so for a few moments before actually kissing him on the lips. You could feel Dave relax as you did so, and he eventually reaches up and holds your wrists gently. He kissed you back, the both of you staying like that for a few moments. When you pulled away, he still had a look of distraught on his face. 

It wasn’t that you expected him to immediately be content and relaxed after what had just happened between you and his family, but he still had the face of someone who felt indifferent. “Are you feeling any better?” you ask him. He nods and cracks a small smile. “I could be better, but… yeah,” he recites. Was this a bad time to poke at what else he needed to talk about? Probably. You go for it anyways, looking into his red eyes. “Is there anything else bothering you? About what happened today?” He shakes his head. 

It was still early in the morning, not much had happened… Well, that was a lie, a lot of things happened. Dave seemed to be okay now. You take your hands off of his cheeks and go to set them on his hips. He tenses up and makes you take your hands off of his hips. What? He was just so comfortable with you! He was letting you hold him as close as you wanted, comfort him however you wanted. But a hand on his hip is that big of a deal? 

Don’t ask about it, don’t bring it up, you tell yourself... again. Being in a relationship with a Strider wasn’t all that easy, it was rough at times, but it didn’t make you love him any less. It only increased how much you loved him. “Dave? Could I... ask you something?” “Yeah, go ahead.” 

You don’t hesitate to ask, it’s something that is on your mind every morning, always crossing it and making you wonder. “Why are you never in bed when I sleep with you? I mean, I wake up and you’re hardly there. Why?” Tension doesn’t even rise within him as far as you can tell. He chuckles and looks at you. “...To put on my binder. I didn’t want you to see what’s there, so I wake up early enough, go to another room, change, then come back. Sometimes I don’t always make it back in time, like this morning.” 

Huh. 

That’s a smart, oddly clever move he’s incorporated multiple times apparently. 

And then you actually say, “huh,” out loud, feeling like an idiot. Dave brushes his light blonde hair back a little, all of it still messed up from sleep, though. “And Dianna is your.. Birth name?” you ask. “Yeah. I keep telling them to just call me Dave, but of course, it’s ignored.” It’s a shame that the name he wanted to be called by his own brother wasn’t acknowledged. Sad, really. “There’s them still calling me their sister, using the wrong pronouns- I hate it,” he continues. None of this was easy for your lover now was it? You weren’t the genius of what it was like to be this way, the only problem you’d ever encountered that was hazardous was about your sexuality. To this day, you weren’t sure what you exactly were. You switched between being a homosexual to someone that was bisexual, then going back to identifying as homosexual. Yeah, that was hard enough, but for genders? You had to give him some credit, he must be putting up with this nonstop. Although you’d never heard him being misgendered until today. 

“Is there anything people can do to fix it? I’ve heard of something like it before, I can’t remember the name of it- Some kind of surgery?” you say. Dave nods, and you realize just how much research he has been doing. “There’s a surgery you can get to remove your breasts, one to remove your ovaries, and then there’s just a full sex change. I’ve been trying to save up for one, but-” You snort. Dave quickly looks up at you, an obviously hurt feeling crossing his face. “Come on, David, don’t look so upset. Cheer up,” you start. “I only laughed because of your money issues. You could’ve just asked for a few hundred” His eyes lit up, as well his mouth forming a small grin that would make someone like Jade shocked. He looked at you almost as though you were a genius. Even if you had not a damn clue how much any of the surgeries costed. 

As quickly as his eyes lit up, they soon dimmed down again. “What’s wrong? You just got so happy when I said that I could give you the money- maybe even the rest!” Dave reaches over, placing his hand on your cheek. He tries to put on a reassuring smile of his own to you. “I want any of the surgeries- Seriously. But I can’t do it, I can’t get them.” Oh my fucking god. This guy. This guy. He’s worse than Terezi trying to use a flying fox! He’s worse than a kid shooting another instead of the target during arche- Well, no, that was a lie. It would be damn funny when someone shoots the wrong thing. You should know, you’ve done it plenty of times yourself to know how it actually feels. But you understand that Dave wasn’t in a great mood today because of your argument with his brother, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure that one out. 

“Why can’t you get it?! Isn’t that what you want?” you ask at him, slightly louder than you first intended. Dave must be used to hearing you throwing orders around now and you raising your voice higher, you could manage yourself, though. Dave shakes his head. Why can’t he just be a little more verbal? He’s only quiet when he’s drunk, and Dave was for sure not drunk today. You’d be able to tell if he was. “Karkles, again, I really want it! But you don’t want to know why I can’t get it.” He leaned towards you and kissed your lips quickly. You still didn’t understand, and you truly wanted to know why. You wanted to get down to the reason why he couldn’t get even one of the surgeries. Just why was Dave torturing himself like this? In the midst of the moment and you having the urge inside of you to leave Dave to relax, you let it be. Maybe someday you’d find out the cause of him being unable to receive any of the surgeries. 

“Fine, fine.. Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want me to know about?” you inquire. The moment immediately after is one that makes you nervous, something that never happens with you. There was a very brief moment when he showed hesitation, trying to hide it. In the blink of an eye, you easily could have missed the action. You caught onto it and knew that there was something getting to him. Dave denies wanting to tell you anything. “No, that’s all I’ve needed to tell you. About my whole body thing,” he says. Do you believe it? Possibly. Do you believe something else may be going on? Absolutely. Just waving it off, leaving it be, you don’t bring it up. Dave was, per say, fragile to you. He meant so much to you, and so you would go easy on him when he is having rough times. 

You wrap your arms around your boyfriend once more and you both stay in that position for a minute or two, completely silent. It was nice, just standing with him as you both held onto one another. The short, swift sways you made with him during your hug calmed you each down for the better. He picks his head off your shoulder and sighs in content. You threw a smug smile at him and he nudged you with a laugh. Everything felt back to normal now, you and your stupid antics with Dave having to deal with them. He looked as if he’d forgotten about what Bro was saying, and that was a good thing. It obviously wasn’t a nice-feeling; weight on your back to know that your family probably hates your boyfriend. 

“Are you alright now?” As you ask Dave this, you reach up and put your hand on one side of his face, messing with his hair as you did so. He leans into your touch and smiles, reaching up himself to hold onto your wrist. “Yeah, I’m good,” he responds. You nod and decide that it’s best if you make your way back inside with Dave and let him eat. You could manage not eating breakfast for one morning, soda was enough for you. Dave looks to know what you want to do next as you reach back and grab ahold of the knob on the door. You turn it and he quickly sighs, the smile leaving his face. 

You open the door, no longer looking at him when he stops you. What now? You process the fact that he reached over and slammed the door shut so that you were both still outside. “Wh-” “There’s something.. Else that I need to tell you,” he mutters, hesitation in his thick voice. You knew it, you knew it, you damn well knew it. Dave’s slight moment of hesitation at first after all was not a lie. You turn to him and take your hand off of the knob, all the meanwhile turning to look at him. “And that is?” 

Dave takes your arm and walks away from the door, away from the entrance to the apartment. So his family couldn’t hear you two talking, was that it? What was so important that he didn’t want his family to know about? He takes his hands off of you and looks away from you, a hand over his mouth. He’s processing on how to tell you whatever the new topic is and you wait for him to figure out how to proceed with this. Dave closes his eyes, his head still turned away from you. “Don’t take this the wrong way, in advance.. I’m sorry,” he starts off. Dave is worrying you now. “Alright...” you say. Many thoughts flow through your mind, did you do something wrong? Was he sick? Was this about why he was incapable of getting the surgeries? You have not one clue. 

Dave opens his eyes and looks at you, directly into your grey coloured eyes. He places his hands on your shoulders, gripping them gently for a quick second. Uh oh. that was the harbinger of bad news approaching. Just that position made you worried. “Karkat, I’m, uh-” he stutters. You see the glimpse of tears welling up in his eyes. Each second made you more and more worried for Dave. As his tears welled up so did your nerves. You could see the feeling of angst within him. Dave bites down on his lip and gazes at you, looking horrified to be saying this out loud. You give him time to say it, not interrupting him. “I’m… I’m pregnant, Karkat,” he says. 

You stare at him for a moment, wide-eyed. Then you laugh, still looking at him as you snort. “No you aren-” Then it clicks. The moment you realize how much your life has and will be changing. Forget your theories on his gender ordeal, this was happening. This was why he was waking up so often at night. To go to the bathroom and morning sickness. This was the reason he’s wearing sweatpants and your shirts more often. He’s growing out of his own, that was why your shirt looked more fitted on him. Dave wasn’t working out. This was the reason he hasn’t been acting his usual self lately, the reason Dave was more moody. This was why he wasn’t drinking liquor and sugary drinks anymore and was sticking to more virgin beverages. This had to be the reason he didn’t want you touching his hips, they’re near his stomach. He didn’t want you to know that he’s pregnant, but how far along exactly was Dave? 

But, the question still remains, when exactly did he get pregnant? 

You step away from Dave, looking at him with a blank stare to your face. This baffled you at first. Your boyfriend is pregnant, you’re going to be parents with someone to whom you used to loathe and aren’t even married to yet. This is going through your head as all of the pieces are coming together. Dave Strider really is pregnant. His hands slide off of your arms and a tear falls down his cheek. He seems to get the gist of both your confusion and realization as you mull things over. He wraps his arm around himself, the other hand going to wipe at his cheek. “Yeah- Remember the... Party we went to? The one awhile back?” 

Oh jesus christ. 

“Fanculo,” you whisper to yourself. It’s all coming back to you now, the ending of the party. You now recall the memory of fucking him, gazing down at him, listening to him and yourself, paying attention to your movements. Making sure he was alright, even in your highly drunken state. You nod slightly at him, your gaze at him never shrinking away. “Let’s just say that I wasn’t as drunk as you think I was. I remember what happened, all of it, I mean,” he continues. Dave’s laughing softly, but not as though something was funny. He was crying and laughing at the same time, trying to both hide it and calm himself down. But damn, you were still astonished. You can’t help yourself but to take a step toward the other, wrapping your arms around him again and holding him close. He’s quick to hug you back and grip onto the back of your shirt, crying into the crook of your neck. 

It wasn't like you'd been yearning for children with Dave. In fact, the topic had hardly crossed your mind. Leaning your head on Dave’s, you mumble into his hair, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” You didn’t realize that you’d started crying yourself until you were speaking to him, it was a little too obvious in your voice. You feel so bad about what was happening. Not only does he have to deal with passing as a male, even though he was already doing a significant job at that, but now it would be even tougher; he’d eventually have to manage with a swollen stomach protruding through his clothing. And it was all your fault. You are and will be the reason Dave is so unhappy. 

You kept your sobs quiet as you cried, hiccuping mostly. You’re both comforting each other now. Then, he pulls carefully out of your grip from the hug and looks up at you. Now it was his turn to wipe your tears, and he did exactly that. He reaches up after and puts his hand through your bangs, making sure not to mess up your hair. You sigh shakily and look at your boyfriend. “How far along are you?” you ask. You couldn’t quite remember when that party was held, all that you remembered was that it wasn’t as recent as it felt. “Four months? No idea about what week it is exactly,” he says. He had five left to go. 

Five months of having to take care of Dave, watch over him, protect him, and there was no doubt you would try your best to do that. This was your child too, and dammit, you didn’t want to let him down. You certainly would try not to get murdered by the archery team and leave him alone. You ruled the place, everything done was under your command there. If you died, the whole place would be a wreck and go upside down. Yet, no matter how devastating it would be to your team mates, you knew that it would matter at least ten times more to your friends and boyfriend. You could only imagine how caught off guard the entire place would get, and it wasn’t like you could leave Terezi in charge. Nepeta was someone to look back upon and know she could do better, but you still treated them more than respectively. It wasn’t like Dave needed to know any of that, though. 

Let’s try not to look on the dark side of all this and all of the bad possibilities that could occur. No, let’s look on the bright side of this situation. You and your boyfriend are going to have your very own biological kid together. Another dark side to that was the fact that his family just might want to kill you even more after he tells them that. If he didn’t tell them already that is. To the extent of where they stood, it was almost oblivious that, yeah, no sense in telling them. If they didn’t believe that Dave was a male now, why would they have reasoning to believe he was after explaining that he was pregnant? 

As you continue to look at Dave, he stares back at you. Why does he look like he’s expecting for the worst? You still have tears running down your face as you start to smile wide and laugh. He doesn’t seem to quite understand but begins laughing with you for the hell of it, and you reach forward to hug him tightly. He seems to catch onto the idea now that you were actually happy about it. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing after all.


End file.
